Farewell Facebook Friends
I find myself at a crossroads. Those of you who know me well are probably aware that I have never been a fan, advocate, or avid user of Facebook, or social media in general.
I do like FB Marketplace though. I’ve had some wonderful experiences buying or selling things there. Sure, there have been some unpleasant Marketplace experiences, too, but the good far outweighs the bad, so I will probably stick with it.
The same goes for FB Messenger. I prefer using email or text messaging for online communication, but for my Marketplace communications, and especially for staying in touch with all my distant friends, Messenger is a must. Not all the time, but often enough that I will probably stick with using Messenger, too.
Research tells me that I can’t leave Facebook without also losing Marketplace and Messenger. Well, crap.
That research also shows me that lots of other people would like to do the same, disengage from social media, but keep the positive and useful things in play. This is not a paid endorsement, but my research did also lead me to an app called SocialFocus. If you are interested, please check it out: https://socialfocus.app/.
I’ll try not to get long-winded here, but I wanted to share one other thing from my research…
This morning as I was browsing in Marketplace, something popped into my Facebook feed and I opened it, perhaps for the last time. I came across a photo (https://www.tamatoledonews.com/news/local-news/2025/09/19/stc-announces-2025-homecoming-court/) posted by TamaToledoNews. I don’t know most of the kids at STC any more, so it wasn’t the group of smiling young faces that caught my attention, although I wish them all the best. It was the setting of this photo that brought a tear to my eye. If I am given permission, I will add a copy of the image in this blog because you never know how long Facebook will last, and you certainly never know who might not be able to open Facebook now, or in the future. I know I won’t.
I can’t verify this, because that would almost certainly require more interaction with FB, but I believe that the photo was taken beneath a willow tree planted on October 8, 2012, the day my son was buried, by members of the Iowa Geocachers Organization board of directors, and friends. One of those folks, Liz, became a good friend and the tears I shed this morning are for Ian, and for Liz as she celebrates her first heavenly birthday.
It’s postings from Liz, and many others like her, that I will miss the most.
When Ian passed I was moved by the outpouring of love and support we received. I still am to this day. But, I was also moved in a very different manner by all the hateful speculation and vitriol that I found online. In spite of the positives, I choose to pull back from social media in 2012, and was glad that I had when the 2016 election cycle rolled around. In years since I’ve gradually drifted back into social media, largely driven by connections with young people and distant friends who had no other simple means of keeping in touch.
But the vitriol is back, so I’m done.
In the absence of social media I’ve no doubt that I will find comfort in actual things, like Ian’s tree(s), and the good people in my life who occasionally visit in-person, or know me well enough to share an update via text message, email, or a phone call (yes, Mary reminds me that you can still do that with your phone) at times. If I sent you a link to this post, via whatever means available, then you’ll know you are one of the people I will miss and I hope you will find a way to keep in touch.